cut to: the living room of the monroe's house. mr and mrs monroe, toby, the other kid, harold and chester are all standing around the coffee table. the basket with the rabbit rests on the table.
pete: ma, toby said he's going to keep the rabbit in his room. that's not fair. he already has harold sleeping in his room.
cut to: dog p.o.v. sniffing around, acting dumb. harold runs down the hall and into to toby's room. toby's laying on his bed with a chocolate cake.
harold narration: toby is a nice kid and all, but it doesn't hurt that he shares his stash with me. it is, after all, at one of those late night parties that i first developed my taste for chocolate cake. and toby has kept me on chocolate cake ever since.
cut to: brent creer reading at the park.
brent creer: so toby's the dog's dealer?
cut to: the monroe's living room with all the monroes standing around the rabbit. like idiots.
toby: but he's mine. i found him.
pete: you mean you sat on him because you're stupid! you can keep that idiot dog in your room, i'm sleeping with the rabbit.
cut to: dog p.o.v. harold bites pete on the leg. there's blood everywhere.
cut to: the monroes and their pets standing around in the living room staring at the rabbit.
mrs monroe: i think the best place for the rabbit is right here in the living room.
pete: hey, we gotta name him.
mr monroe: can't we wait until tomorrow? i've got to meet the governor for breakfast tomorrow.
toby: no way, dad. don't you know that if you dont name an animal immediately, it ends up with attachment disorders.
mr monroe: that's a myth. there haven't been any peer studies to prove your theory.
mrs: monroe: what about princess?
toby: lame.
pete: oh, what about dracula?
toby: stupid. mom, if you name him dracula, that'll be favoritism and i'll be traumatized.
mrs monroe: what about bunnicula? well, guys, is that ok with you?
pete and toby look at each other and smile then look at bunnicula.
mr monroe: that's a great name. ok, it's bed time.
everyone but the animals head off to their respective bedrooms. harold signals chester to join him in the other room.
harold: wow. can you believe they found a rabbit at the movie theater? and what's up with that weird note? do you think it's written in blood? i was hoping it would be just you and me hanging out tonight, you know?
chester: i dont trust that rabbit. he just feels evil.
the arrival flashback
cut to: a title card that says something like jobs
cut to: mr monroe -- lt governor
cut to: mrs monroe -- lawyer
cut to: pete -- doctor
cut to: toby -- college professor (psychology)
cut to: the living room. just as everything was before the job montage.
toby: harold, just wait til i tell you what happened at the movies!
cut to: a title card that says flashback
cut to: the outside of an old movie theater like you'd imagine on main street usa. it's dark and raining. mysterious. the marquee says dracula. the monroes, shielding themselves from the rain with newspapers, run into the theater.
cut to: the theater. dracula is playing on the screen. bela lugosi is in the middle of telling one of his many jokes in draula. the theater is mostly empty. like maybe ten other people scattered through the seats. the monroes, late again, sit in the back row. toby jumps up from his seat and screams.
mr monroe: stop making a fuss.
toby: but dad, look what someone left.
cut to: a basket in toby's hand. there's a blanket. on the blanket, a bunny. around the bunny's neck, a ribbon. on the ribbon, a note. the note, written in blood but in a totally unfamiliar language.
cut to: a titlecard that says end flashback
cut to: mr monroe -- lt governor
cut to: mrs monroe -- lawyer
cut to: pete -- doctor
cut to: toby -- college professor (psychology)
cut to: the living room. just as everything was before the job montage.
toby: harold, just wait til i tell you what happened at the movies!
cut to: a title card that says flashback
cut to: the outside of an old movie theater like you'd imagine on main street usa. it's dark and raining. mysterious. the marquee says dracula. the monroes, shielding themselves from the rain with newspapers, run into the theater.
cut to: the theater. dracula is playing on the screen. bela lugosi is in the middle of telling one of his many jokes in draula. the theater is mostly empty. like maybe ten other people scattered through the seats. the monroes, late again, sit in the back row. toby jumps up from his seat and screams.
mr monroe: stop making a fuss.
toby: but dad, look what someone left.
cut to: a basket in toby's hand. there's a blanket. on the blanket, a bunny. around the bunny's neck, a ribbon. on the ribbon, a note. the note, written in blood but in a totally unfamiliar language.
cut to: a titlecard that says end flashback
the arrival (harold is a dog, chester is a cat)
cut to: the living room of the monroe's house. harold and chester are lying on the floor in front of the tv. they're watching sone kind of nature documentary. the front door opens. it's mr monroe.
mr monroe: toby! hurry up! the movie starts in ten minutes!
toby walks into the living room
toby: what are you animals watching?
cut to: a close up of the tv. a cheetah is running.
cut to: the living room. the animals are totally ignoring toby because they're so into the tv show.
toby: another boring documentary. i knew it. pay attention chester, you might see one of your relatives. take care of the house harold. you're the watchdog.
toby leaves.
harold narration: that watch dog stuff, i think, is their way of making up for not taking me. as if i wanted to go to the stupid movie anyway. you can't lie down at the movies and still see the screen.
cut to: brent creer reading bunnicula at the park.
brent creer: he's right about that.
cut to: harold and chester watching tv.
cut to: the tv. now it's a tiger chasing a deer.
cut to: harold and chester lying near each other watching tv.
harold: what about her? do you think she's hot?
chester: not my style.
they watch tv in silence for a bit.
cut to: two hours into the future.
then, the front door bursts open. standing in the doorway: mr monroe, mrs monroe, toby and pete. lightning flashes behind them. mrs x is carrying a little bundle -- a little bundle with little sparkling eyes.
mr monroe: do one of you brats want to take this bundle? i need to take of my coat.
pete: i will!
toby: no, i will! i found him!
pete: you're too stupid to take him. you'll probably just drop him.
toby punches pete in the face breaking pete's nose. there's blood everywhere. pete grabs a book off the living room table and throws it at toby. he misses by at least two feet.
toby: nice throw, retard.
pete: i'd like to see you throw a book with a broken nose.
mrs monroe: i'll take him. you boys quit fighting.
toby: harold, you'll never guess what happened to me at the movie theater!
mr monroe: toby! hurry up! the movie starts in ten minutes!
toby walks into the living room
toby: what are you animals watching?
cut to: a close up of the tv. a cheetah is running.
cut to: the living room. the animals are totally ignoring toby because they're so into the tv show.
toby: another boring documentary. i knew it. pay attention chester, you might see one of your relatives. take care of the house harold. you're the watchdog.
toby leaves.
harold narration: that watch dog stuff, i think, is their way of making up for not taking me. as if i wanted to go to the stupid movie anyway. you can't lie down at the movies and still see the screen.
cut to: brent creer reading bunnicula at the park.
brent creer: he's right about that.
cut to: harold and chester watching tv.
cut to: the tv. now it's a tiger chasing a deer.
cut to: harold and chester lying near each other watching tv.
harold: what about her? do you think she's hot?
chester: not my style.
they watch tv in silence for a bit.
cut to: two hours into the future.
then, the front door bursts open. standing in the doorway: mr monroe, mrs monroe, toby and pete. lightning flashes behind them. mrs x is carrying a little bundle -- a little bundle with little sparkling eyes.
mr monroe: do one of you brats want to take this bundle? i need to take of my coat.
pete: i will!
toby: no, i will! i found him!
pete: you're too stupid to take him. you'll probably just drop him.
toby punches pete in the face breaking pete's nose. there's blood everywhere. pete grabs a book off the living room table and throws it at toby. he misses by at least two feet.
toby: nice throw, retard.
pete: i'd like to see you throw a book with a broken nose.
mrs monroe: i'll take him. you boys quit fighting.
toby: harold, you'll never guess what happened to me at the movie theater!
editor's note
cut to: the office of an editor. so there are like bookcases lining the back wall and on the desk there are a bunch of books and manuscripts and a computer and a stapler and maybe like a picture of the editor's wife and/or mistress. maybe a picture of his wife and mistress together. but that's not important. truelance scholastic sits behind the desk. he looks like an editor. he is looking directly into the camera.
truelance: my name is truelance scholastic.
the name truelance scholastic appears at the bottom of the frame.
interviewer (who isn't seen): and what do you do for a living, mr. scholastic?
truelance: i am a book editor.
interviewer: and did you edit and publish bunnicula?
truelance: yes.
interviewer: how did you come across such a fascinating manuscript?
truelance: a dog brought it to me. he also brought me this letter.
truelance holds up the letter then pulls his reading glasses out of his front shirt pocket. he clears his voice and begins reading the letter.
truelance: gentleman, the enclosed story is true. i changed the names of the family involved to protect their identities. but, in all other respects, everything you read is factual. let me introduce myself. my name is harold. i come to writing purely by chance. my full-time occupation is dog. i live with mr and mrs x and their two sons. also sharing the home is a cat named chester i am pleased to call my friend. we are a typical american family. i hope you find this tale of sufficient interest to yourself and your readers to warrant its publication
interviewer: so a dog wrote this book?
truelance: yes. a dog names harold x.
truelance: my name is truelance scholastic.
the name truelance scholastic appears at the bottom of the frame.
interviewer (who isn't seen): and what do you do for a living, mr. scholastic?
truelance: i am a book editor.
interviewer: and did you edit and publish bunnicula?
truelance: yes.
interviewer: how did you come across such a fascinating manuscript?
truelance: a dog brought it to me. he also brought me this letter.
truelance holds up the letter then pulls his reading glasses out of his front shirt pocket. he clears his voice and begins reading the letter.
truelance: gentleman, the enclosed story is true. i changed the names of the family involved to protect their identities. but, in all other respects, everything you read is factual. let me introduce myself. my name is harold. i come to writing purely by chance. my full-time occupation is dog. i live with mr and mrs x and their two sons. also sharing the home is a cat named chester i am pleased to call my friend. we are a typical american family. i hope you find this tale of sufficient interest to yourself and your readers to warrant its publication
interviewer: so a dog wrote this book?
truelance: yes. a dog names harold x.
top 10 reasons to read books
brent is sitting on the park bench. brent creer opens the cover of the book.
dj howe narration: dear book club reader, here are my top 5 reasons to read books:
5. books make excellent companions.
4. books fit perfectly in pockets.
brent closes the book and takes a look at it's size which is like 8 by 5 inches.
brent: i dont think this book could fit in my pocket.
dj howe narration: maybe not hardcover books, but that's why they invented backpacks.
3. the characters in books will become your friends.
2. books are a private thing. when you're reading you can just be yourself. you don't even have to act cool.
brent: that makes less sense that the pocket part.
dj howe narration: 1. books are full of words.
i bet you could add to my list. keep reading!
your friend, dj howe.
brent turns the page.
cut to: a title card saying bunnicula, a rabbit tale of mystery by dj howe that i'll add later.
cut to: another card i'll add later that says to mildred with love.
dj howe narration: dear book club reader, here are my top 5 reasons to read books:
5. books make excellent companions.
4. books fit perfectly in pockets.
brent closes the book and takes a look at it's size which is like 8 by 5 inches.
brent: i dont think this book could fit in my pocket.
dj howe narration: maybe not hardcover books, but that's why they invented backpacks.
3. the characters in books will become your friends.
2. books are a private thing. when you're reading you can just be yourself. you don't even have to act cool.
brent: that makes less sense that the pocket part.
dj howe narration: 1. books are full of words.
i bet you could add to my list. keep reading!
your friend, dj howe.
brent turns the page.
cut to: a title card saying bunnicula, a rabbit tale of mystery by dj howe that i'll add later.
cut to: another card i'll add later that says to mildred with love.
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