cut to: a title card that says something like jobs
cut to: mr monroe -- lt governor
cut to: mrs monroe -- lawyer
cut to: pete -- doctor
cut to: toby -- college professor (psychology)
cut to: the living room. just as everything was before the job montage.
toby: harold, just wait til i tell you what happened at the movies!
cut to: a title card that says flashback
cut to: the outside of an old movie theater like you'd imagine on main street usa. it's dark and raining. mysterious. the marquee says dracula. the monroes, shielding themselves from the rain with newspapers, run into the theater.
cut to: the theater. dracula is playing on the screen. bela lugosi is in the middle of telling one of his many jokes in draula. the theater is mostly empty. like maybe ten other people scattered through the seats. the monroes, late again, sit in the back row. toby jumps up from his seat and screams.
mr monroe: stop making a fuss.
toby: but dad, look what someone left.
cut to: a basket in toby's hand. there's a blanket. on the blanket, a bunny. around the bunny's neck, a ribbon. on the ribbon, a note. the note, written in blood but in a totally unfamiliar language.
cut to: a titlecard that says end flashback
the arrival (harold is a dog, chester is a cat)
cut to: the living room of the monroe's house. harold and chester are lying on the floor in front of the tv. they're watching sone kind of nature documentary. the front door opens. it's mr monroe.
mr monroe: toby! hurry up! the movie starts in ten minutes!
toby walks into the living room
toby: what are you animals watching?
cut to: a close up of the tv. a cheetah is running.
cut to: the living room. the animals are totally ignoring toby because they're so into the tv show.
toby: another boring documentary. i knew it. pay attention chester, you might see one of your relatives. take care of the house harold. you're the watchdog.
toby leaves.
harold narration: that watch dog stuff, i think, is their way of making up for not taking me. as if i wanted to go to the stupid movie anyway. you can't lie down at the movies and still see the screen.
cut to: brent creer reading bunnicula at the park.
brent creer: he's right about that.
cut to: harold and chester watching tv.
cut to: the tv. now it's a tiger chasing a deer.
cut to: harold and chester lying near each other watching tv.
harold: what about her? do you think she's hot?
chester: not my style.
they watch tv in silence for a bit.
cut to: two hours into the future.
then, the front door bursts open. standing in the doorway: mr monroe, mrs monroe, toby and pete. lightning flashes behind them. mrs x is carrying a little bundle -- a little bundle with little sparkling eyes.
mr monroe: do one of you brats want to take this bundle? i need to take of my coat.
pete: i will!
toby: no, i will! i found him!
pete: you're too stupid to take him. you'll probably just drop him.
toby punches pete in the face breaking pete's nose. there's blood everywhere. pete grabs a book off the living room table and throws it at toby. he misses by at least two feet.
toby: nice throw, retard.
pete: i'd like to see you throw a book with a broken nose.
mrs monroe: i'll take him. you boys quit fighting.
toby: harold, you'll never guess what happened to me at the movie theater!
mr monroe: toby! hurry up! the movie starts in ten minutes!
toby walks into the living room
toby: what are you animals watching?
cut to: a close up of the tv. a cheetah is running.
cut to: the living room. the animals are totally ignoring toby because they're so into the tv show.
toby: another boring documentary. i knew it. pay attention chester, you might see one of your relatives. take care of the house harold. you're the watchdog.
toby leaves.
harold narration: that watch dog stuff, i think, is their way of making up for not taking me. as if i wanted to go to the stupid movie anyway. you can't lie down at the movies and still see the screen.
cut to: brent creer reading bunnicula at the park.
brent creer: he's right about that.
cut to: harold and chester watching tv.
cut to: the tv. now it's a tiger chasing a deer.
cut to: harold and chester lying near each other watching tv.
harold: what about her? do you think she's hot?
chester: not my style.
they watch tv in silence for a bit.
cut to: two hours into the future.
then, the front door bursts open. standing in the doorway: mr monroe, mrs monroe, toby and pete. lightning flashes behind them. mrs x is carrying a little bundle -- a little bundle with little sparkling eyes.
mr monroe: do one of you brats want to take this bundle? i need to take of my coat.
pete: i will!
toby: no, i will! i found him!
pete: you're too stupid to take him. you'll probably just drop him.
toby punches pete in the face breaking pete's nose. there's blood everywhere. pete grabs a book off the living room table and throws it at toby. he misses by at least two feet.
toby: nice throw, retard.
pete: i'd like to see you throw a book with a broken nose.
mrs monroe: i'll take him. you boys quit fighting.
toby: harold, you'll never guess what happened to me at the movie theater!
editor's note
cut to: the office of an editor. so there are like bookcases lining the back wall and on the desk there are a bunch of books and manuscripts and a computer and a stapler and maybe like a picture of the editor's wife and/or mistress. maybe a picture of his wife and mistress together. but that's not important. truelance scholastic sits behind the desk. he looks like an editor. he is looking directly into the camera.
truelance: my name is truelance scholastic.
the name truelance scholastic appears at the bottom of the frame.
interviewer (who isn't seen): and what do you do for a living, mr. scholastic?
truelance: i am a book editor.
interviewer: and did you edit and publish bunnicula?
truelance: yes.
interviewer: how did you come across such a fascinating manuscript?
truelance: a dog brought it to me. he also brought me this letter.
truelance holds up the letter then pulls his reading glasses out of his front shirt pocket. he clears his voice and begins reading the letter.
truelance: gentleman, the enclosed story is true. i changed the names of the family involved to protect their identities. but, in all other respects, everything you read is factual. let me introduce myself. my name is harold. i come to writing purely by chance. my full-time occupation is dog. i live with mr and mrs x and their two sons. also sharing the home is a cat named chester i am pleased to call my friend. we are a typical american family. i hope you find this tale of sufficient interest to yourself and your readers to warrant its publication
interviewer: so a dog wrote this book?
truelance: yes. a dog names harold x.
truelance: my name is truelance scholastic.
the name truelance scholastic appears at the bottom of the frame.
interviewer (who isn't seen): and what do you do for a living, mr. scholastic?
truelance: i am a book editor.
interviewer: and did you edit and publish bunnicula?
truelance: yes.
interviewer: how did you come across such a fascinating manuscript?
truelance: a dog brought it to me. he also brought me this letter.
truelance holds up the letter then pulls his reading glasses out of his front shirt pocket. he clears his voice and begins reading the letter.
truelance: gentleman, the enclosed story is true. i changed the names of the family involved to protect their identities. but, in all other respects, everything you read is factual. let me introduce myself. my name is harold. i come to writing purely by chance. my full-time occupation is dog. i live with mr and mrs x and their two sons. also sharing the home is a cat named chester i am pleased to call my friend. we are a typical american family. i hope you find this tale of sufficient interest to yourself and your readers to warrant its publication
interviewer: so a dog wrote this book?
truelance: yes. a dog names harold x.
top 10 reasons to read books
brent is sitting on the park bench. brent creer opens the cover of the book.
dj howe narration: dear book club reader, here are my top 5 reasons to read books:
5. books make excellent companions.
4. books fit perfectly in pockets.
brent closes the book and takes a look at it's size which is like 8 by 5 inches.
brent: i dont think this book could fit in my pocket.
dj howe narration: maybe not hardcover books, but that's why they invented backpacks.
3. the characters in books will become your friends.
2. books are a private thing. when you're reading you can just be yourself. you don't even have to act cool.
brent: that makes less sense that the pocket part.
dj howe narration: 1. books are full of words.
i bet you could add to my list. keep reading!
your friend, dj howe.
brent turns the page.
cut to: a title card saying bunnicula, a rabbit tale of mystery by dj howe that i'll add later.
cut to: another card i'll add later that says to mildred with love.
dj howe narration: dear book club reader, here are my top 5 reasons to read books:
5. books make excellent companions.
4. books fit perfectly in pockets.
brent closes the book and takes a look at it's size which is like 8 by 5 inches.
brent: i dont think this book could fit in my pocket.
dj howe narration: maybe not hardcover books, but that's why they invented backpacks.
3. the characters in books will become your friends.
2. books are a private thing. when you're reading you can just be yourself. you don't even have to act cool.
brent: that makes less sense that the pocket part.
dj howe narration: 1. books are full of words.
i bet you could add to my list. keep reading!
your friend, dj howe.
brent turns the page.
cut to: a title card saying bunnicula, a rabbit tale of mystery by dj howe that i'll add later.
cut to: another card i'll add later that says to mildred with love.
this is part of the movie
brent creer -- late twenties, skinny, wearing a windbreaker -- is walking in the park looking at the back cover of a book. it's a long walk. walking. walking. walking. there's a slight breeze and whatever other things i should describe that gives the feeling of parkness. while brent creer walks, we hear different narrators reading their endorsements on the book brent creer holds. i dont have the actual endorsements because i'm at work and dont have the book with me, but i'll add those later. but you know what i'm talking about. "i think this book is great and i promise i didn't get paid to say that (even though i probably did get paid to say that)." that kind of stuff. ok. these are the endorsements on the back of the book we hear:
narrator 1: move over dracula! -- the new york times
narrator 2: the most lovable vampire of all time -- j. gordon melton
narrator 3: if i could read, this novel would give me goosebumps -- nadine, r. l. stine's dog
brent: a dog reviewed this book? without even reading it?
finally, brent creer sits down on a park bench and holds the cover of the book up to his face.
cut to: a close-up of the book cover. bunnicula: today vegetables . . . tomorrow the world. (not the actual book cover, but our version of the book cover which hasn't been drawn yet.)
cut to: a close up of brent's face staring directly into the camera.
cut to: the book cover.
cut to: brent's face.
cut to: the book cover. some creepy music swells.
cut to: brent's face.
brent: here we go.
cut to: brent creer on the park bench opening to the first page of the book.
narrator 1: move over dracula! -- the new york times
narrator 2: the most lovable vampire of all time -- j. gordon melton
narrator 3: if i could read, this novel would give me goosebumps -- nadine, r. l. stine's dog
brent: a dog reviewed this book? without even reading it?
finally, brent creer sits down on a park bench and holds the cover of the book up to his face.
cut to: a close-up of the book cover. bunnicula: today vegetables . . . tomorrow the world. (not the actual book cover, but our version of the book cover which hasn't been drawn yet.)
cut to: a close up of brent's face staring directly into the camera.
cut to: the book cover.
cut to: brent's face.
cut to: the book cover. some creepy music swells.
cut to: brent's face.
brent: here we go.
cut to: brent creer on the park bench opening to the first page of the book.
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